“Will you love me in the morning?” he asks.

For once,

could we go to bed happy?

Or, is that not an option anymore..

Losing you, isn’t just losing my lover.

But my best friend too.

My mom once told me that if I ever fall for a guy, and we break up, that I should never put my life on the line for him. That my life is more valuable than any relationship that I will ever be in.

If that guy, doesn’t want to be with me? Then leave him. There are plenty of other people i this world. Yes, it may hurt in the beginning. But once you get past that, it’ll be okay. Just something of the past. And you’ll move on, to find someone else, someone who will want to be with you, and love you.

I’ve never heard more wiser words from my mom. 

At night is when all those hidden feelings that are pushed down and tucked away come out to play.

And they don’t play nice either.

You’re such a fucking inconsiderate asshole.

I swear. 

K. 

You don’t wanna even TRY to talk to me?

No big deal.

I’ll find someone else to give my attention to. 

I always do shit, just to piss myself off.

It’s like I set myself, just for the fall. 

Why the fuck.

I think it’s kinda funny looking back at the past. Seeing how much you’ve changed, how much things have changed. It’s interesting. You look back and for some reason, it seems all like a faded dream. Like it never really happen, you just sort of imagined it, dreamt it up really. 

The past makes me sad a bit, it makes me wonder sometimes what could have been. What could’ve happen if I made a different choice. Would I be where I am now? Or, where would I be? It’s something to really think about.

But then, the past makes me kinda happy. To know that there were times where I felt like i couldn’t get past it and I thought I could die, that I did make it past it and I’m here now. It makes me happy looking back at some memories, knowing that I made those memories, we made those memories. 

Though these memories may not be so important to us now, they’re still memories none the less. 

And I wish that you would call me right now, so that I could get through to you somehow..

But I guess it’s safe to say, baby, safe to say.

That I’m officially missing you.

I’m smiling on the outside.

But I’m dying on the inside.

I miss home. Not as in my house, home. But my home country. I miss Viet Nam, a lot. I miss my family, I miss it. 

I miss the closeness of my family, I was so stress free there. My family kept me save, and sane. Here, my family drives me crazy. I’m stressed out to the max.

I just wish I could go back every year.